When does choosing not to worry become foolish naivety?

  There are times when you hope for things and they come true and you’re ecstatic because you realized your hope.  There are times when you try not to hope for things because they don’t come to pass and you were expecting it.  Then there are times when you think you have what you were hoping for and you worry constantly about losing what you have.  But you know that worrying about things falling apart often becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy and so you do your best not to worry.

  So, how do you tell the difference? 

  I think I may be a worrier.  I tend to play out situations to different conclusions just because that’s the way my mind has always worked.  I play the “what if” game with myself until I think I have covered all the possible scenarios.  At least that way I have a fair idea of what to expect so I can prepare myself for the outcome regardless of whether it’s good or bad.  I don’t believe I worry unduly, I just think a lot because I’m usually pretty good at it. 

  What happens when all the advice in the world is telling me not to worry so much, but my instincts are telling me that something is wrong or that something unpleasant is coming?  My instincts have proven to be right most of the time when it comes to people.  When I say most of the time, I mean that about 80% of the time I can figure it out before something bad is going to happen.  I’m less accurate with when something good is coming, but still up there. 

  I can see in others when they are about to draw close to each other and when they are pushing each other away.  Even worse, I can see when one wants to draw closer and the other wants to pull away.  It pains me to see it.  Or rather, I feel pain for the one who is being left behind but I also understand the pain of the one doing the leaving.  I have always been blessed (or cursed) with the ability to see more than what the average person thinks they are showing the world and as a result I can generally tell what is going on with a person emotionally through body language, verbal intonation and most especially through the eyes.  The eyes give it all away, especially when the person is thinking about what they are feeling, thinking or worrying about.

  I can see this in others. 

  It’s a different story when I look at myself. 

  When my own emotion becomes part of the question it becomes more difficult to “see” what is going on.  Things become subjective rather than objective.  I begin to project my own feelings onto others and see reflected in them my own worries.  I see questions that I am asking myself reflected in their eyes and my judgment becomes clouded.  It becomes more difficult to see things, but it’s not impossible.  Then again, I have a tendency to “borrow trouble.”  So I try not to worry so much.  But where do you draw the line?  When do you stop and think?  When does it become foolish not to address the proverbial elephant in the room?  When do you finally ask the question? 

  I just… I hate being right about things like this.